Isaac Singer didn’t invent the sewing machine, he just made it actually work—like turning a butter churn into a KitchenAid. Born in 1811, he dabbled in acting (because of course he did), but found his real audience in housewives and factory workers.

Singer’s 1851 design wasn’t original, but it was faster, cheaper, and didn’t make you want to throw it out the window. He added a foot pedal, a straight needle, and voila: people stopped dreading mending. Even better, he offered installment plans, so you could pay off your machine like a sofa—slowly and with mounting guilt.

The Singer brand went global, and by the late 1800s, owning one was practically a requirement, right up there with having a parlor and pretending to enjoy parlor games.

Then there was his personal life: Singer had 24 children with multiple women, including a wife, a common-law partner, and a glamorous Frenchwoman who may or may not have inspired the Statue of Liberty. 

He was sued for bigamy, of course, but also kept sewing up profits while society gasped.

In short: he stitched himself into history—and into every soap opera subplot imaginable.